Pick your time period:  year 2010 - as seen from 2009 !  (2009's predictions for 2010.)  year 2010 - first part (NOTE- APART from predictions, above, comments from NuGgets column are not put here until well into the year- see current NuGgets.)  year 2010 - part two  (.)  year 2010 - part three  (.)  year 2010 - fourth part  (.)           Other Blogjob years - Blogjob main menu

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2010 Predictions ... ? - © copyright Infinity Junction November 2009
   (This year with a global warming theme; how cosy.)
January 2010 - The usual summer bush fires around Sydney arrive late and are disappointing for enthusiastic bonfirists, apparently there's no scrub left from earlier. It leads an enterprising Timorian to sell trees in Sydney suburbs specifically for burning. Since the trees are carbon neutral in production everyone is happy.
February - Japanese industrialists are shocked to discover their carbon offset plans with southern Asia have been scotched because there aren't enough trees there. A Brazillian entrepreneur sells thousands of live trees to be planted on factory roofs as a substitute.
March - Brazil announces it cannot stop deforestation because there aren't any trees left to stop being deforested. As a result, American plans for carbon offset are scotched too. An enterprising Canadian sells Brazil millions of trees to start all over again.
April - New satellite pictures show tundra has reached the Great Lakes as there are no trees left to stop snow drifting on the wind. Global warming sceptics claim they are right and so sanction more fossil fuel burning.
May - Japanese factories collapse at an alarming rate killing the trees planted on them. Ex-workers, now short of cash, burn the wood as fuel. Monkeys in Brazil raid towns because there's no food in the new pine jungle other than the odd moose, which is too big for them.
June - Canada does a deal with Brazil to sell them a trillion tons of snow for their pine jungle, it takes half a million fossil fuel burning ship loads to get it there. With no snow, Canadians see there's nothing left and emigrate, by fossil fuel burning vehicles. With no trees left, Timorian mudslides flatten the countryside making it perfect for industrialisation.
July - Summer finally arrives in Canada and bakes the exposed earth into concrete. Nobody notices. Seventy thousand jungle animals and twelve thousand Amazonian indians are treated for frostbite before the snow melts away. Alaskan oilfields run out after all that snow carting so the country is abandoned.
August - Global warmists warn of imminent disaster due to lack of trees and too much snow; they aren't certain whether the temperature is going to go up, or down. Timor overtakes China as the most industrialised country and takes on immigrants from Canada and Alaska as labour.
September - Australian authorities make emergency stockpiles of charcoal to ensure the scrub fire season doesn't fail next Christmas. Monkeys, fed up of the new habitat in Amazonia, seek diamonds to bribe for asylum in Congo. Brazil's jewellers claim asylum in newly rich Concrete Republic of Timor.
October - ground frosts in Canada now cover the entire country as there is no cover. By the end of the month it is permafrost and Niagra Falls ice over- that's global warming for you. Moose in Brazil complain the pine jungle is too hot for them, but there's no ice left. They try to seek asylum in Chilly.
November - Canada and Alaska, now empty, apart from snow, and undefended are claimed by the dreaded 4P, Proletarian Penguin's People's Party. (But that really happened, didn't it; Ed. see Nesstown Zoo Saga.) Western Europe's winter 'gas from Russia blues' look to be solved by a new pipeline of hot air from Brussels.
December - The late President J F Kennedy offers to be on Oprah's last show next year. The lost WW2 Lancaster bomber found on the moon many years ago, flies to Mars piloted by pigs. Ultimately the world is officially declared half a degree warmer, but only in certain places at certain times.
   And if you believe that...    you'd better seek an asylum.

That's all so far