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Blogjob - internationally noted comment diary

A compilation of some of the entries from our main InfinityJunction.com website NuGgets column since it started.
The latest material may be in the main NuGgets column,
InfinityJunction.com, or in another page on this site.
Authors: EM, StO, NG-1 (the boss and editor of the official column,) NG-2, with occasional ideas from others.
All items are copyright; reproduction by any means in any medium is therefore illegal without
permission and acknowledgement of both source and authorship.
Site written in restricted HTML to allow older computers to read it.

From 2006 the format of Blogjob changes. From now on NuGgets column will hold all the year's comments until the new year when a slightly cut down version moves to Blogjob. A new NuGgets column will start at the same time. Blogjob comments will be ordered as in NuGgets with the newest comments on top and oldest ones at the bottom. There are way points to click on but as you go down you are actually going backwards in time.

Pick your time period:
 year 2006 - as seen from 2005 !  
(2005's predictions for 2006.)
 year 2006 - first part 
(Nukoil, smoke, EC, Dog, CO2, fast buck, Vlad, dick, cartoon, s3x, 85, coc, diet.)
 year 2006 - part two  
(Druids, Chirac8, clang, Condy, nutts, cloud, Brazil, looza, fire, balls.)
 year 2006 - part three  (Birds, sun, poo, footy, cops, solutions, oil, Al-Q, music, beer, veil, spook.)
 year 2006 - fourth part  (Rumsfeld, poshspeak, tea, poloX2, judge, bekz, heartburn, people's God.)
          main blogjob index - Blogjob menu
          2005 page - Blogjob AD 2005
          2004 page - Blogjob AD 2004
          2003 page - Blogjob AD 2003
          previous years - Blogjob AD 1000 to end 2002
        Bird Flu arrives at Nesstown


 

SPECIAL SECTION -

2006 Predictions ... ? - © copyright Infinity Junction November 2005
January -
   Weather forecasters, in fear of their jobs after dire predictions, shiver in their shoes as the 'Atlantic Flip' flops around; pressure mounts, but where, north or south? Meanwile Britain's last nuclear power station is decomissioned in favour of a 3 kilowatt wave generator.
February -
   The long cold snap predicted for UK this year materialises in an unexpected way; Chirac makes himself President of France for life. Europe is set for perpetual winter.
March -
   Icebreakers finally reach central London with aid - tents that didn't arrive in Pakistan on time after the earthquake are returned.
April -
   In his attempt to privatise everything before retirement as PM, St Tony Blah announces share trading in religion. (See Nesstown Zoo Saga book 5... due next year? (Unlikely before 2008, Ed !)) He secretly reckons that if enough secularists buy shares in zealot groups, he can have them bought out and sold to Guantanamo Bay for spares.
May -
   Mayday, having been banned by Europe for its 'medieval religious connotations offensive to sectors of the community,' and Gayday attracting too big crowds for safety, is renamed Greyday.
June -
   After last year's surpise success in international cricket, the UK government announces that young offenders are to be given cricket coaching for minor offences during the summer, rather than terms in prison.
July -
   After the hardest winter since the 16th century, UK fries in the hottest summer for years. Water runs short, so water company executives give themselves 20% pay rises in compensation.
August -
   Hurricane season starts, so petrol prices go up just in time for all those 4 wheel drive off-roaders to be stuck in holiday traffic jams, wasting even more fuel.
September -
   Even Exxon have to admit global warming exists after one of its ships sinks in a tsunami at the North Pole. A clean-up operation is endangered by angry mutant teenage penguins.
October -
   Cricket clubs sue the government for return of cricket bats. Urban police are equipped with anti-bat defensive equipment.
November -
   The European Union still hasn't agreed a budget for 2005- discussions about talks about talks for 2006 budget are postponed for 2 years. It is decided that 2007 will be abandoned and that discussions about discussions about talks about talks for 2008 should start immediately.
December -
   Chinese owners of MG Rover British car manufacturers (deceased) announce that new models are to be launched next year. In line with official Chinese policy, the new family car will have three seats.


4th quarter, going back in time as you go down from here

A Bad Thing?
   A survey revealed in The Guardian two days before the religious festival of Christmas showed 82% of the British population believe religion does more harm than good. Considering two thirds of Britons have no religious belief, it means that even some people who do have faith in a god also believe he (or she, or it) does more harm than good. Where is the logic in that? This poll suggests over three quarters of us believe there is no logic in religion. Have the Chinese have got it right after all in suppressing Christmas? Answers on a postcard to Santa, Chinese embassy, Lapland.

Heavy Heart - EM
   A TV chef was asked to come up with a banquet for the Japanese ambassador. The ambassador reportedly called him "...a man with food in his heart."
   Ah, Confucius he say: "Man with food in heart has hole in stomach."

Beckzzz
   An art gallery in N W England has a new exhibit- a 57 minute film of famous footballer, ex England captain David Beckham sleeping. Don't worry if you miss it: there'll probably be highlights later.

Judge For Yourself
   There was one of those TV classic moments last night. Monty Don trying to set up a gardening rehab program for offenders, one of his group learns he has to go to court again and says: "My fate is in the hands of a prick with a wig." How eloquent, how pertinent.

Putin Things Straight - 2
   A week ago president ex-KGB Putin strenuously denied Moscow had anything to do with the assassination of ex-KGB spy Litvinenko in London. Now we have strong evidence his killer(s) travelled from Moscow. Strange how quiet he's gone.

Polony Baloney - what the newspapers didn't say
   Element 84, the heaviest in group 6, polonium is reportedly fatal at levels of 0·000000000004 of a gram or more in a human body, because of pernicious alpha particle radiation. It is a bit of an enigma because nobody is quite sure whether it is metallic or not, although the others in the group, starting with oxygen, are non-metals. Polonium is also unusual because although it is unstable and breaks down, the levels of it in ores such as pitchblende remain constant, due to it continuously being made as part of a radioactive decay series. It occurs naturally at imperceptable levels in soil, but the amount unknowingly ingested as poison by ex KGB man Alexander Litvinenko means the dose probably came from a nuclear reactor. Now where do you think it might have originated? No prize for guessing Russia.

Pennine Tea
   Popular 'Yorkshire Tea,' (as drunk at Infinity Junction,) packaged in Harrogate in Yorkshire has a new rival. Historically great enemy Lancashire, the other side of the Pennine Mountains has launched its answer, cleverly called Lancashire Tea. We haven't seen it in the shops yet so cannot 'review it for our consumers.' When it does arrive, we'll have a War of the Tea Roses.
(It's a UK historical pun for you non-Brits, you know tea roses (flowering plants,) and War of the Roses between houses of York and Lancaster, Ed.)

Found In Translation
   We've been pointing out subtitle blunders for some time now, but this is a first- regional accents auto-translated. An Ulster woman was transcribed as saying 'lake' when she actually said 'like.' Okay that's believable. But in Home Counties Berkshire someone saying 'know' was interpreted as 'knee.' Posh... well affected anyway. Ay say, parse the shempers, eold bey.

Rumsfallen
   So old Rumacre has passed on to the great retirement home in the boondocks. Never mind, to remind you, or in case you didn't know him, we're repeating the
Nesstown Zoo Saga to jog your memories.


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2006 - part three, going back in time as you go down from here
In League...? - EM
   Spooky eh? European TV news was on telly in the background, whilst the radio was on playing classical music. On TV the Pope in audience, inter-cut with protestors outside with placards denouncing paedophile Catholic priests. On the radio? The Witches Sabath by Berlioz !

Speciation
   Now that's a fine word to bandy; speciation. Some bloke in the London School of Economics was paid by some sleazeball organisation to develop a theorem on how the human race might split into an upper and lower order by evolution. Well, he'd have to be paid to come up with his conclusion because the mainstream establishment wouldn't. According to a Dr Curry, reputedly a 'political theorist,' whatever that is, by the year 3000 there will be a distinct gap between the thickos of this world and the intelligentsia, amounting to 2 new species of humans. His sponsors are a rather laddish TV channel of not too much repute, so we can rest assured the research was thorough, hmm. Put simply, he says clever and attractive people tend to breed with similar people; the rest get what they can out of life. Gradually an upper class of taller, attractive and clever people emerges and the rest slowly become an inferior underclass.
   It rather shows that Dr Curry is no scientist. Whilst superficially plausible, it takes no account of real evolution. From time to time nature springs surprises such as mutations; they can happen to anyone and if the mutation is advantageous it is likely to survive and spread. Maybe the 'lower' class gain a strength and agression trait and they wipe out the upper echelons in revenge. Who knows, but it is not a simple matter to predict.
   It also seems that the good doctor has his head in the clouds regarding human nature. There are plenty of cases where physical sexual attraction overrides the intelligence argument. Half the TV and film sex icons, for whom many admirers lust, are actually quite thick. (You just have to hear some of them when not following a script.)
   The fact is that our DNA is complex and it's recombination to form a new individual can and does allow unpredicted things to happen. For example inter-breeding black and white, especially second generation couples, do not necessarily produce a half-way colour, the outcome could be blacker or whiter than the middle and even more so than its parents in second generation cases. Equally a phenotypically clever person may carry the genes to produce an unintelligent child: the genotype is not always clear from the phenotype, especially if this person has had a privileged background.
   All in all, Dr C, we suggest you just go forth and speciate!

Disguise
   There's been something of a tiz recently when it was suggested that muslim women in this country would be accepted into mainstream society more readily by not wearing a veil to hide their face. Of course reactionary elements called the remark offensive, demeaning and so on. It would make an interesting plot to a movie; Ms Big running a protection racket or something and never being identified. Nah it's already been done... by hoodies. Now hoodies have been banned from many high street stores, hmm. Sexual equality, discrimination and similar spring to mind.

Never
   Saint Tony of Blah has finally apologised in public for the flawed intelligence that led to the invasion of Iraq, although in admitting his facts were wrong, he said the war wasn't. Next perhaps he'll admit that privatisation is not wanted by the British public, as the Labour conference proved. But, by the same token, he'll go ahead anyway.
   When will politicians learn they are elected to do what the majority want?

Booze Talking
   From the Labour party conference, an interview- Peter Mandelson speaking, sub-titles underneath say: "Progress over the last 12 beers has been significant."

True Word
   More text mistakes? Maybe not- over a news man talking about fighting in Helmand province in Afghanistan the caption read Hell Land.

Nuff Said
   An Idonesian spokesman being interviewed on TV about the trial of terrorists there said, quote: "There's not much distinction between lawyers and liars."
   Say that in the UK and there'd be a ton of writs.

Much Older - by our Drambuie sipping music correspondent, Evelyn Murray.
   After a 14 year gap, 'Much Older' (Mark Elder) waggled his stick, and tongue, at the Last Night of the Proms. Prokoviev's Land of Soap and Water predictably got the the crowd going. The BBC Band Orchestra played in London and Harry Potter blew a black wooden thing up near the Hebrides. Sir Henry Elgar's Auld Reeking Lum was spontaneously performed by the audience, on cue at the end. It is expected that budget cuts and privatisation will demand next years Proms will last only two days and be performed in Heathrow airport, where the instruments are impounded... probably sponsored from sales of missing baggage.

He of the Beard and Horns
   So some committee in the States has decided that Saddam did not after all support Al-Quaeda. That was known by anybody who ever followed Saddam's antics before the Iraq war. Think about it, the last thing that despot needed was religion to undermine his dictatorship! Where do they find American 'intelligence' officers?

52 Weeks (countdown to Blah-off)
   At last Saint Antonius of Blah has said that he'll be gone before one year is out. No surprise then that Brown-Gordon looks so happy. That's assuming of course he can beat David Cameron to leadership of 'New' labour.

And Now We Are Twelve-oid
   Plutoid is the latest word in the English language. It's neither one thing nor t'other, not a 'classic' planet, but not just a chunk of orbiting space rock either. Perhaps we could extend this concept into other spheres? Rightoid- not a tory but not real labour; should suit Saint Tony and his 'New labour'. How about Jewoid? Not actually one of that ethnic group or religion, but supporting them whatever the logic; G W Bush. Roonoid- talented but too dangerous to risk in your team. Humoid- not funny, but likes to pretend it is; US sitcoms. Therapoid- dispensing useless advice about health matters; alternative medicine / diet columnists. Safetoid- forever banging on about lowering speed limits without thinking of the time and money wasted by frustrated drivers. Any more suggestions? E-mail us if you have.

Solved
   There have been endless jokes about the use of the word solutions in advertising and marketing, but one thing they have'n't spotted is that 'solution' has more than one meaning. Infinity Junction presents a first- both meanings in one ad: 'biomodified maltose solutions' - in other words beer.

Red Light On Blue Mergers
   Controversial anti-motorist police boss of North Wales said about the aborted force mergers: "What we need is more police on the 'road,' not wasting money on this." Any other policeman would have said more police on the 'beat,' which just about sums up his hated policy of going for drivers rather than criminals, (because they can make more money that way.) And, being the money-grabber he is, has sent a bill to the government for UK250,000 spent on preparations for the merger.

Englands World Cup
   England face Rooney in the finals today in Aberdeen, it is thought the new manager Mercedes sMcClaren will adopt a 1-9-1 formation as this iss just how they played in the quarters. Early indications suggest Walcott will be captain and Prescott will score an own goal.

Head Faked Sh**
   Subtitles (yet again) over Paxperson reading newspaper headlines- 'headlice cannot be killed by special Sham Poo.'

Prayer Mats on the Patio
   According to subtitles over BBC TV weather, there would be a Sunni end to the day.

(Not So) Wild
   Two quite different pieces of birdlife news came to light recently-
   1. Britain's most notorious rare bird egg thief fell out of the tree he was investigating and died. The RSPB later said his considerable talents could have been put to good use but never were. Instead he nearly caused the extinction of species in the UK. RIP, (rot in place.)
   2. Non-native predators have caused a 30% reduction in British songbirds, according to the RSPB. In particlar grey squirrels and sparrow-hawks were blamed. It so happens that the editor's garden is a wildlife encouraging environment and he can back these claims up with experience. (See
ponds page.) Perhaps we should do what the UK public want to do with foreign human criminals and deport them back to their native lands. Shouldn't have a problem with grey squirrels: Canada is civilized and unlikely torture them... Ah, pictures of bloody baby seals. Doh!

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2006 - part two, going back in time as you go down from here

Golden Balls
   A feature broadcast from the RHS Chelsea Flower Show said- "Auriculas are a breeders favourite, often naming them after wives, daughters or even footballers."
Imagine-
   "Ere Coleen, I've 'ad a plant named after me."
   "Ooh Wayne; what is it?"
   "An auri-something."
   "Orifice? Oh, d'you mean areshole?"

F-F-F-Fire
   A news broadcast reporting on a fire at Istanbul airport said "Firefighters tackled the blaze with caution." We'd have thought water or CO2 would have been better.

Human Wrongs
   Two quite separate events coincidentally show up weaknesses in 'human rights' interpretation. First we learned that the murderer of Naomi Bryant, mother-of-one, was actually serving a life sentence for sexually motivated violence. The Parole Board, who we have critcised before here in the NuGets column, let Anthony Rice out on licence. It appears his 'right' to freedom overrode the rights of the public to be safe from maniacs like him.
   The second was the refusal of a judge to allow deportation of nine aeroplane hijackers back to Afghanistan. Their 'human rights' outweigh the right of the public to be safe from violent criminals. Saint Tony called the judge's decision 'an abuse of common sense.'
   Isn't it about time that human rights legislation acknowledged that the rights of the many overrides the the rights of the few?
NOTE added later- Here we are around 10 days after the above was first put up on the Infinity Junction website and John Reid, new Home Secretary, has at last said it might be possible to change the human rights laws here in the UK. Well, what are you waiting for?

Thickett Withers
   Those of you who follow The Nesstown Zoo Saga will by now know that US President George Thickett's end is nigh. Already there's speculation about who will take over as candidates wheedle and lobby behind the scenes to gain party nominations. In 2½ years time, we might see the first woman president of the USA. Hillary C has to be odds-on favourite at present for the Democrats, but who will win the Republican vote? Condoloozza? Now that would be an interesting fight.

Hacked Off - EM
   The much criticised British paparazzi 'hacks' scored an own goal yesterday. They annoyed Brazillian football coach Scolari so much that he has refused the job of England manager. Time for a change of Euro law to protect privacy perhaps? Ah, but hang on, there's maybe something to this... If newspaper hacks did that to all the other national football managers, then the World Cup could be ours again. Hmm, where's my camera- come on lads.

Clouds From Crowds
   With clear skies and unusual upper atmosphere conditions yesterday, we counted over 30 contrails (jet vapour trails) over our heads. This situation persisited most of the day, new vapour trails appearing all the time. At the worst times when several trails merged, it was noticeably dimmer on the ground as we walked round the real 'Nesstown Zoo.' Work out how much fuel was burned!

Case of Nutts
   Professor Nutt, (honestly,) of Bristol University, claims to have invented a drink that can make you drunk without any bad effects, such as liver disease or hangovers. What's more he says using flumazenil the effects can be cancelled quickly enough for people to drive home sober after a party.
   Somewhat unfortunately he abrieviates his 'partial agonist' concoction to 'pa.' That's also the acronym for piss artist. Coincidence or intelligent design?

Are They?
   The Condy and Jack Show, as the media have been referring to Condoleeza Rice's tour with UK Foreign Secretary Jack Straw, gives us hope that perhaps the skinny woman isn't quite as severe as she usually comes over. At the 'centre of the world' (Blackburn Lancashire according to Straw) it was all smiles and looking at each other. Almost lovey-dovey! Then they whizzed off to Iraq (for a honeymoon?) and Jack slept in Condy's bed- we believe she slept on the floor, (so no honeymoon then.) Such a long tour together and so many smiles begs the question... are they???

Sub Clang Again
   More amusing subtitling clangers: 'Ill Liberal Democrats' - eh, has Kennedy cloned? No; they meant 'illegal immigrants!' 'Protect Ionism' - what's this phrase at the euro summit, is it some new science based religion under threat? Sadly it's just what Europe is guilty of; protectionism.

ArrogFrance-8
   We sniggered mightily to hear about Chirac's petty tantrum at the European summit in Brussels. A French businessman had the nerve to address the summit in English! As he explained it is the language of business. No doubt he'll be struck off Chirac's Christmas card list, oh dear.

Budget Druids
   A review of 50 years of Patrick Moore's excellent Sky At Night series included a short scene when he went to Cornwall to see an eclipse, but the weather beat him- "All we saw were wet druids!" Yesterday of course was UK budget day... "I'm going to make gas-guzzling 4by4 cars unattractive," says Brown-Gordon. So what does he do to put people off these over-priced and over-consumptive vehicles... puts Road Tax up to £210 UK for them. That's going to make these £30,000 plus car buyers shake in their boots! Not.

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2006 - part one, going back in time as you go down from here

Carbulet-her
   Public health medics in New York have ascribed dangerously high blood acid levels, found in a sick 40 year old woman, to the Atkins Diet. In The Lancet, they warn that Atkins Diet is 'far from healthy.' Infinity Junction's own dietary expert, (see Nim's section of this website) has warned about Atkins Diet for some time now: both protein and fat, which are substituted for carbohydrates as the energy supply in the Atkins Diet, need quite a lot of stomach acid to break them down and themselves break down into absorbable acids, amino and fatty. There are other more subtle metabolic implications involved with insufficient carbohydrate too, which make matters worse. The amazing thing is that anybody follows Dr Atkins diet since he was a completely failed dieter himself, being considerably obese; it contributed to his early death. It now seems his ideas may be contributing to other people's ill-health. Try the Nim's Diet instead: it's properly balanced and includes those moderating carbs.

Coc-up
   According to the International Narcotics Control Board (who?) 2% of all Britons use cocaine. We think not actually: this is pure alarmist conjecture. Think about it- cocaine is addictive so most people who use it do so on a regular basis. If you remove older generations who never were involved with drug taking and those too young to be involved yet, that 2% becomes more like 6% of the rest. It is utterly unbelievable that 6% of the working population are high on cocaine! It simply isn't true, and if it were, the country would have decended into chaos by now. Now Iraq, where drugs are frowned upon far more, is in Chaos. If you follow the logic, we should send them all that coke which was siezed recently.

Catch 85
   A Stanford University biologist has suggested that retirement age should be put up by one year every year until it reaches 85. Um... right. Now here's one George feller, 64 and due to retire next year. 65th birthday- sorry mate it's now 66. So george waits until he's 66. 66th birthday- oh sorry mate you have to wait: it's 67 now. And so on until George fades away.
   Pensions crisis solved at/with a stroke.

Frisking - (apologies to Nesstown penguins)
   NHS Direct, the UK's telephone and web medical help line, now recommends keeping fit with 's3xercise', claimed to have long term health benefits due to physical exercise and the action of endorphins. (They're chemicals, not funny-looking small people as someone said.) However health experts warned there was little evidence for this.
   No doubt they'll be off to get it.

Speaking Out - Ed.
   A banner paraded in London (UK) today proclaimed 'Kill those who insult Islam.'
   From the same group of protesters, (about Danish cartoons of Mohammed,) a man questioned by a TV interviewer said: "Free speech, yes, but not about religion."
   Later we see placards saying 'Butcher those who mock Islam' and 'Europe learn from 9/11,' yet UK Foreign Secretary Jack Straw says it was wrong to publish inflamatory satire. Excuse me, but satire is supposed to be somewhat inflammatory, otherwise it loses its point. One also has to ask who is being the most inflammatory? Is satire actually banned in Europe? If not leave us satirists alone please.
    **** (Here we are 24 hours on and still this rumbles on ominously. BBC News 24 suggested UK Muslims had scored 'an own goal.' Then the evening news the day after, even more provocative placards appear: 'mock 2day die 2morrow,' etc. This is NOT civilised and is surely against the laws on religious rabble-rousing. So far the police do nothing.
   Another interview with a so-called Muslim moderate says satirists are clearly Islamophobic. There IS a serious culture mismatch here: if certain sections of the population cannot distinguish western mickey-take from blaspheme... well, things don't look good for stability.)

Rising Expectation
   After meeting a TV evangelist, Italy's PM Berlusconi allegedly promised not to have s3x until after the next erection. (Election, surely. Ed.)

Headliner
   Two quite different headlines caught the eye recently. One saying that a Brick-on-head (or Jerk-in-bed) traffic warden, in the heart of that dull brown splodge on the map opposite Liverpool, has cost the area 1 million UK pounds. This over-zealous creep 'followed rules' and slapped a fine on a business man's car left 5 minutes too long in a car park, as the owner was actually paying for a new ticket. Incensed, the printing firm boss from Wrexham cancelled plans for an investment there saying he didn't want to work in a place like that.
   The second (teletext) headline was actually about rugby football, but at first reading looks like a Welsh equivalent of Sub-Plot (see further below)- 'Dragons Furious at Calls for Cull'- sounds like a job for Saint George.

Putin Spies In Perspective
   You can tell his KGB background by the increasingly dirty tricks emerging from President Putin's government backed organisations against those who don't back him. The latest ploy is accusing UK government of spying using an electronic rock outdoors in a Moscow park. Nearly every government spies on those they don't trust in one way or another, but one would hope the UK's MI6 are a bit smarter than that! (If not, sack 'em.) For one thing it's minus 30°C in Moscow at present and batteries simply wouldn't work after a night outside, so the 'operation' set up by television doesn't ring true. Secondly, placing it in such an obvious position is clearly a big risk, which no sane spy would accept. The 'rock' shown on TV would be too easy to knock over revealing those extremely obvious contents- good for TV viewers to see.! For another, the date stamping is in American format (month before day) which the UK does not use.
   Moscow TV- stop 'rocking' the boat.

Fast Buck
   5,715 UK pounds per hour is the new record police earner. A Chief Constable? The Met Commissioner? No; a speed camera on the A11 near Norwich. One has to ask, if so many are speeding there, is the speed limit wrong?

APPosite Criticism - StO
   Bush and co are doing their best to wreck the Kyoto Agreement before he's chucked out of office. The Asia-Pacific Partnership on Clean Development and Climate, (APPoCDaC for short; catchy, eh?), are attempting to develop 'clean coal' so they can burn it even faster.
   While ridding coal of volatiles and sulphur is possible, (we used to do that years ago to make coke, which does burn clean,) it doesn't solve the problem of CO2, or what to do with the stuff you remove. They'd be far better spending their effort on clean renewable energy, but then Bush's chums in Exxon and Texaco don't like that.

Toilet Humour
   A report about the IRA McCartney killing says 47 people refused to make a statement, claiming they were disabled and in the toilet at the time... all at once in a single small cubicle !
   Imagine it if you can; 'I say, hand me some toilet paper, will you.'

Gone To The Dog
   So mad scientist prof Colin Longhair has found his crashed Beagle 2 Mars lander, or so he claims. Now what; call out the repair man? Sue the pilot? No, actually, he wants to build Beagle 3. Mmm, who's paying?

Sub-Plot - EM
   For years now there has been debate about whether to cull badgers to reduce TB in UK cattle. Would it work? Nobody knows. Now a sinister new development shows that the whole thing is a plot by our euro rivals to harm British agriculture. Subtitles last night clearly stated that Germany pays most into European 'coughers.'
(Speaking of subsidised euro agriculture, I wonder how the English term 'cough up' translates there? - Ed.)

More Smoke
   Sometimes we wonder what sort of planning people we have in the UK. Quite apart from the usual moans about green belt disappearing and overcrowded new housing plots, there is a fundamental malaise surfacing. Perhaps it's a laziness which stops them interfering in big business because they have the resources to put up a fight. Well just think; petrol and aircraft fuel storage in Hemel Hempstead; a dormitory town for London. One tank explodes during maintenance- that's bad enough. But why should one tank be so close to others that almost the lot blow up in turn? And what's the Buncefield depot doing close enough to housing and motorways that they have to be evacuated and closed? And we haven't even started to think about what responsibility owners Total and Texaco have for it. Full marks for idiocy, doh.

New Year Prediction for, well, er, 2012 - Stew the Oil
   Gas and oil prices rise inexorably as supply becomes harder to find. We don't have many coal mines left in the UK thanks to all those strikes 25 years ago. Basically we're running out of energy as fossil fuels are used up. Okay we've built some wind farms which are nice and eco friendly, but they're only ever going to supply a small amount of our needs. So Greenpeace et al have gone ballistic again trying to veto any discussion about replacing those elderly nuclear power plants. The sight of some guy shouting from roof beams of speech venue for St Tony to announce a debate was simply pathetic.
   What does that leave us with? Apart from energy saving measures, and maybe some attempt to extract energy from the risible amount of sun the UK has in winter, it's just crackpot schemes. Whether you like the idea or not, nuclear is on the way back.

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