now running in its Twentieth year - NuGgets TMish comment column - "poking fun and pointing fingers"
A Chinese foreign office spokesperson claimed covid-19 was planted in Wuhan by the American army! Oh boy! If they really believe that they'll believe President Xi is god. God help us. (The real one not Xi, if you believe in that.)
Research from Leeds University shows that the richest 10% of people use 187 times as much energy as the poorest 10%, thus producing a totally disproportionate amount of CO2 pollution.
5 Times Bigger Than Big Bang
Explosion of a super-massive black hole looks set for the biggest insurance claim ever- the large galaxy Ophiuchus now has a dent as big as the Milky Way in it. Since many scientists think this could be how the previously known universe started, is this the start of an invasion from outer space? If so, we only have 390 million years to prepare.
Thick As A Brick
Head of UK Environment Agency has said what seems obvious to everybody except money-grubbing developers- building houses on flood planes ain't clever. Rivers at their highest levels ever in the England/Wales borderlands has prompted this announcement. Some years back a flood plane development was mooted for North Wales, objectors pointed out what was likely to happen, so what did planners do? Not cancel it as they should have done, merely reduced the number of homes bound to be flooded. Der!
Heads Buried In The Stars
Astronomers have featured in NuGgets before, usually because they don't seem to live on planet Earth. Suddenly they announce planets weren't made by smashing smaller rocks together any more, but by gradual coalescing of bits. If they had lived on planet Earth they'd have realised this just by looking at how sedimentary rocks form, no smash and bash, just gradual coming together then let gravity do the rest. Commom sense to an earthling.
Phi-Pee - by E.M. our booze and music correspondent
'The Phil' pub as it is often known in Liverpool, close to 'The Phil' hall where Liverpool's orchestra is based, finally has it's renowned gents lavatory grade 1 listed. At one point there was talk of demolishing this wonderful example of Victorian extravagance, now the whole pub, inside and out, is permanently saved. (You hope- Ed.) It is one men's loo even ladies should visit!
India's Kerala region has had its alcohol problems in the past, (see backnumbers of this column.) Drunkeness and murder being one, attempts to prohibit alcohol two. Some officials seem to have had a change of heart though and have laid on beer, brandy and rum directly into people's house taps. It seems they were in rather a hurry to hide confiscated illicit booze and didn't check where they buried it.
Golden Sun Every Day
No petrol, diesel or hybrid cars in just 15 years... as if. With Britain hosting a climate change conference later this year, science-dim showoff BoJo announces an end to all hydrocarbon burning vehicles by 2035, and pigs will fly team-aerobatics over the white cliffs of Dover. Get real! 1- electric cars will not have sufficient range for holiday makers, company reps and a host of other long journeys. 2- How about lorries and long range coaches? The size and weight of necssary batteries for a 40 tonne truck would make their loads far smaller and raise transport costs enormously. 3- to get all vehicles electric, there would have to be hundreds of thousands of charging stations all over the country, not just in towns and on motorways. It simply is not going to happen in just 15 years.
"Not with a bang but a whimper, sun shines brighter, up yours Brussells, Britain back in control," etc, etc; reaction to UK leaving Europe last night, of course. Actually looking at the sun, which did come out for a while the day after the night before, you'd have to be wearing rose tinted glasses to see any difference. So life goes on, we're not dead, Europe's not dead, Trump's got away with it, this time. Now the hard work negotiating, which hopefully will be behind closed doors so we don't have to put up with months more Brexit baloney.
Here We Go Again
In 2002 and 2003 it was SARS (severe actute respiratory syndrome,) a mutation of corona virus from animals. Again, probably started in 2019 but not reported then, here we are in 2020 with another corona virus mutation from animals. When will Chinese people learn you cannot keep animals in close proximity of humans and/or human food without risking exactly what has happened? China may have a huge population but it does not excuse lack of teaching and enforcing good hygiene.
For the record books, Jan 22nd 2020 saw the highest atmospheric pressure ever recorded in this part of the world at 1054 mB. We note at the same time parts of Spain and southern France have had some of the worst winter storms on record. The jet stream is doing most unusual things, dividing while strong and leaving us in the middle. Global Churning perhaps.
Loose Regs, Poor Inspection - Ed.
In a freak side-effect to a chemical explosion in Catalonia, one of the fatalities was a whole three kilometres away. The accident killed one and injured several at the chemical factory, but the blast caused a block of flats nearly two miles away to partially collapse. Having visited mediterranian countries many times including Catalonia I'm not that surprised because too many short cuts are taken on building construction. The large hollow "bricks" commonly used for walls in hot areas are not structural, but all too often they are used stucturally; I expect that's what has happened here.
Russian Rocket Rodeo
Iranians finally admit they shot down the 737 airliner with at least 80 of their own people killed out of the whole 176 fatalities. This is the same system that was unable to identify a Malaysian airliner over Ukraine just a few years ago, again killing all innocent civilians on board. There is one hell of a lot of difference between a fighter jet or cruise missile and a large commercial airliner, emitting call sign data continuously. So why is this Russian stuff so poor at telling them apart? You might speculate they don't care what they hit. It seems that way to us. Bloody cowboys!
Edit The Editor
A review offered by our 'steemed' ed was refused on the grounds its title was unsuitable. "Oh what a sucker" is apparently not applicable to vacuum cleaners, no matter how good.
Boeing Going Gone
It's not been Boeing's year. Confidence gone after avoidable crashes and earlier cover-up, production of top-selling plane gone after orders stopped. Now their space system has failed because it needed too much fuel to get it where it should have been. To make it worse, Quantas airline has said it will use Airbus for its new ultra-long range fleet; an order Boeing expected. Fine by us, we are close to an Airbus factory which is a major factor in our local economy. They should have learned from Volkswagen- don't try to cheat the system.
Anyone with more than half a dozen working logic circuits in their brain knew that Corbuncle was a disaster. It seems the Labour party itself doesn't do logic. Now it's in its worst state since the 1930s because the public at large are more logical than Labour. Left-wing dogma zero, right-wing capitalism one. Oh boy, are we in for a ride- NHS hang on to your hat.
It remains to be seen whether this was another bad Parole decision or the law at fault, but you have to ask how was a convicted terrorist and known danger ever released from prison? Please people senior in the justice system WAKE UP ! How many more London Bridge murders do we have to suffer? Why are some people in high places so dense? Or are they just lazy?
China's so-called communist state- actually closer to dictatorship- proves as unpalatable as expected with Carrie Lam losing control of 17 out of 18 Hong Kong regions. She is said to be considering her options. Well here's one option; get out while you can. HK to NK?
Who Has The Paddle?
It remains to be seen what the weather will be like in a month's time, but a low election turnout seems a distinct possibility. December in Britain is usually cold and wet and it's dark for a large chunk of the time. Add to that the appalling behaviour of parliament as a whole and Bojo in particular recently, Brits may just say "stuff it" and stay at home in the warm. Conservatives have managed to alienate all but the die-hard. Labour has that weak twit Corbuncle putting anybody with more fifty brain cells off. Indyref Fatfish just bleats like a lost lamb over the border, up Edinbro way. Liberal Swan Song is still suffering from a disastrous coalition some years ago. That leaves the lesser parties, with no overall aim or coordination. We seem to have drifted into the proverbial sewage cove, but who has the paddle?
Extinction Unlikely - Ed.
An attempt to keep London traffic flowing, seems to have failed because a court has ruled the police cannot impose a blanket ban on Extinction Rebellion. The general public are pretty fed up with disruption caused by this group of gossly over-eager activists. Last month one ER member was nearly lynched when he tried to stop a tube line by climbing on the roof of a train. He was lucky to escape with only minor injuries. The point is, why alienate the people you are trying to persuade to help you? You need to be a lot less of a needle to make your point.
Bently Vs Bently
No, not a divorce case, a question of trade marks. Bently Motors, now German-owned British car company based in Crewe, Cheshire decided to sell highly priced Bently clothes to their patently rich car owners. Problem is just over the county border in Manchester there has been a family run Bently Clothing company for many years. Much to the surprise of arrogant and corporately backed Bently Motors, they lost a court case over the clothes brand. Whoever heard of a trillion pound corp being beaten by a local family business? Will Volkswagen/Bently give up? Awaiting update.
Plain Silly Sailing
They left a month ago by sailing boat to reach UN's climate conference in Chile. Oops! Due to civil unrest, the conference is now in Madrid, rather a long way from Chile and those sailing activists are now where they cannot get back in time without breaking their own rules. That's a seriously clever move by the UN, saves tons in security; thanks to the revolting Chilean public.
What's surprising is that it has taken so long to start impeachment proceeding againts Dump. Whether it works or not who knows, or even cares outside of the US Democrat Party. The fact is the world has too many neo-dictators at present and not enough honest, open democracy. How have we got to this point? People of the world wake up! If you have the vote, don't waste it on an authoritarian demi-god. If you don't have the vote, keep asking for it and the honest democratic nations will back you.
Madamoozell From Armentiers
Astonished residents stared at the intruder flitting from ledge to window two floors up. A burgler? A rapist? Actually a real black panther. Inky Binky Parlez Vous!
Pot And Kettle
Cameton has a nerve, saying BoJo has behaved apallingly, (he has- ed.) what about himself and his EU referendum idea? Never has there been such a divisive issue. The referendum need not have happened; okay we'd still be moaning about the unelected EU Commission and various other bugbears, but we wouldn'y be in the mess we are now and with such a bad Prime Minister. Pot, black, kettle, expand a re-arrange to make an old saying.
Tit For Spat
If it wasn't affecting the lives of millions and wealth of the UK, parliament scenes recently would seem pretty babyish, tit for tat reactions in abundance. Buffoon BoJo determined to ruin the economy for the sake of his ego, and the majority of MPs now trying to stop it. What a massive cock up. Nothing subtle, no give and take, no compromise. How long can BoJo last? Not long we guess. Then what? God this is so tiring for the average Brit who ust wants to get on with life, so fed up that most don't care any more whether we are in or out of Europe.
The head of Cathay Pacific Airlines in Hong Kong resigns as the airport is overwhelmed by protestors. Surely it's not his fault: it's Carrie Lam's fault for cosying up to the oppressive Chinese government. She's the one who should go.
Petulant Spoiled Brat
"I won't work with him, he said I'm inept." "Go back to your old country." Not the words of a world statesman you'd hope. Poor USA: your reputation is going over a cliff. Dump the Dump. (See below.)
Putin Things In Perspective number 95 (it seems) - Rise Of The Bully-Boys
"Liberalism is obsolete" sour-faced Vlad asserts; in Russia maybe, not here mate. "Traitors must be punished," another of his phrases, it sort proves that it was him behind the Skripal poisonings, doesn't it? Gotcha! We can't wait for him to sod off into retirement and senility with all his autocrat sychophants. The world will be better without autocrats, dictators and despots like him, Kim, Xi, Erdogan, Maduro, etc, etc, after all it's bad enough with non-autocratic loonies, Dump is prime example. Dump the Dump we here you say. Put out the Put-in we reply.
It's Not Mine !
UN is urging restraint after a second batch of tankers were attacked in or near the Strait of Hormuz. Iran denies it was involved but photographic and video evidence, along with US navy tracking radar, make its denials pretty unbelieveable. Not only that, but Iran is the only player with both the resources and the motive. The question is, what will that unpredictable Dump do? Last time he threatened Iran's very existence. This time there's been surprisingly little rhetoric. Suspicious don't you think?
Fast Cars And Footballers
Formula 1 Canada- "Hulkenberg (is next...)" Subtitles "Hull City..." Now that would be a sight; a football match in the middle of a car race.
Despite protests, Dump appeared in Portsmouth and Normandy to commemorate D-Day. You might see a tweet, "I was there, the French loved me. Hitler bad guy, very negative, I told him he'll pay for the wall."
9% - Ed.
Euro elections showed what the public think of party politics when the ruling UK Conservatives only got 9% of the total vote, ha! Party Politics should be banned. The "whip," when all party members vote as they are told, should be banned too. Let common sense prevail over party Dogma. Listening Bojo, Corbuncle and co? I suspect not. The only good thing which might come out of this is the Conservatives break up; Old Cons in the right corner, sensible ex Cons, those few, form a new party or join one of the others. If only.
British Steel, sold to a rip-off merchant family for just £1 now collapses. We've seen this many times before and the result is always the same, the tax-payer foots the bill for clearing up the mess while the £1 buyers earn billions from high interest loans they arranged for the company. When will governments realise that privatisation of key industries and infrastructure is seriously bad for the country as a whole? The answer is "not while Conservatives are in power" obviously. If instead of selling it, British Steel had been nationalised, it would owe a lot less and probably still be viable. See British Railways break up and sale for proof: UK has one of the worst, most expensive rail services in Europe.
No Way Out- Brexit Blocked
Very predictably, talks between dogmatic Labour "leader" (not) Corbuncle and embattled Tory leader May have reached a dead end. Corbuncle won't budge and May can't because her party won't let her. As Europrat Tusk says- there's now a 30% chance Britain will stay in Europe. What a farce.
Century Old Attitudes - (almost)
Senior, mainly right-wing Tory MPs of the 1922 Committee are ganging up on PM May again as becomes more likely that they'll not get their way over a hard Brexit. Given the boorish behaviour of the right half of the party in recent months, credit can be given to Mrs May for holding things together as well as she has. Why then persecute the one person in that didvided party who stood any chance of avoiding a break-up? I'd say pure vindictiveness. But that's what right-wingers are like.
Main UK parties are licking their wounds as the population expressed its frustration and dismay over proceedings in parliament recently. Both Conservatives and Labour had major election losses. Party politics is killing democracy. MPs of all parties learn from this; country before party please.
"All DeChambeau's arms are the same length," US Masters commentary.
Front page- Beresheet crashes. First privately funded moon lander main engine fails. Lesser News- Black hole photo. A first, blurred and unexciting shot of a massive distant black hole. Wow, was it worth the effort? If you are an astronomer affected by these issues, please seek help from your "real world" advisor.
Only 30 Years Late - Ed
38 years ago I was interviewed by a "government researcher" about attitudes to divorce and changes to the law. At that time one of our neighbours was going through divorce proceedings and I was horrified at how nasty they had to be (on paper anyway) to each other in order to get divorced. I also expressed surpise at how long it took. You can get married pretty quick, so why not divorced? In an uncontested divorce surely weeks rather than months or more is reasonable. The researcher at the time said most people interviewed so far had wanted mutually agreed divorce to be quick and no blame to be attached. You might expect thefore that the law should have changed 30 years or more ago. So here we are 38 years on and we see divorce law changes announced. Why take so long? Old fashioned ideas, reluctance to accept change, religious dogma, just plain apathy? Remind you of Brexit, perhaps?
Going With The Wind?
Jianjing Motor Corporation (JMC) are the first of many Chinese copycat rip-off companies to be stopped- we hope- do we expect the order to stop making 'Land Wind' Land Rover Evoque copy to be obeyed? If it is, then it will set a precendent. Up till now Chinese manufacturers have felt immune from Western fair trading and copyright laws. (Infinity Junction knows all about this: A Chinese concern has bought all the eastern equivalents of our trading and domain name, regardless of intellectual property rules and our objections.)
When will China learn it has to play fair? We've seen dumping of steel, short-cut copies of umpteen western products, buying out of western brands only for inferior versions to appear later under the same name. Time for China to join the real world and not hide behind a government that doesn't play fair, isn't it?
After criticising MPs for putting ME before country, (see Me First below,) we've seen pretty much proof that UK currently has one of the worst batch's of MPs ever. They won't accept Brussells' "only deal on the table" on exit, they won't accept 'no deal.' So the only option they think is to delay the whole thing... why? With entrenched positions, what is that going to solve? Somebody has to get real and multo pronto. Uh politicians.
Wylvay Won'tvey 2
Are we about to see yet another nail in the coffin, or are we going to get some light relief? Hunterston nuclear power station had to close its B site reactor 3 some time ago after inspection showed more graphite core cracks than allowed. The problem here is that the limits are rather abitrary. The Advanced Gas-cooled Reactors (UK "AGR" design, only 7 sites ever built,) have proven pretty reliable if not as powerful as newer designs. EDF, the German company operating the power station has been busy during the shutdown testing and remodelling the old data used to set the original figure. They are now convinced the reactor will be safe for quite a few more years. Will the British nuclear authorities agree? With the lights in Britain threatened by electricty shortages in the not too distant future, the industry is hoping for the all clear. Would a longer life expectancy tempt Hitachi back to New Wylfa? (See below.)
LastMinute dot E U
With just days before UK officially leaves the EU, ministers are buzzing about frantically, trying to get "The Backstop" timed out and persuading right-wing MPs not to vote a deal down. It really is anybody's guess as to whether the UK goes with a bang or a sigh of relief. We'll know soon. We'll all also be glad of a rest from the perpetual Brexit drone.
Surprise No Surprise
Commentators seem surprised that the Vietnam Summit between Bang Bong and Dump has broken up early without any deal. Infinity Junction commentators are NOT surprised, simply because Kim Bang Bong is deluded and Dump is pig-headed. With two such silly-billies in charge not much is going to happen for a while yet. Poor North Korea condemned into poverty by a family of diminutive fattypuff megalomaniacs; the Kims.
As we predicted last year, the two main UK political parties are falling apart, mainly over Bexit. A new centrist movement has arisen, not actually a political party because there are fundamental differences between mid-ground members over several issues. Their main point, and for once Infinity Junction agrees with them, is that they are fed up of dogma and hard-line lefties or righties setting party agendas. How long will it last? Will it make any difference to Brexit outcome? Don't expect too much.
Reigning Cats And Dogs
Pet cats and dogs are responsible for the extiction of around 200 species according to a recent report. They rank alongside rats as the most destructive human introductions to ecosystems. "Oh Rats!" as they say of disappointment, man's best friend the pooch is in the doghouse.
Eye Eight It !
"I swerved to avoid an octopus," so said the driver of a lorry found upside down in a roadside ditch. The road near Marlborough in UK is many miles form the sea or estuary attractive to octopuses. Octopuses are not very common in UK waters anyway. "We no found no octopus," police said. No prizes for guessing what the police did next.
Report From Davos - by our staff in Deepest Darkest Cheshire
The elitist World Economic Forum ended with no big announcements, but reports of general gloom. No surprise given the state of things. It has however shown that the theoretical model that most economists use is faulty. Why should economies always grow? Current theory is that growth is always necessary, but looking at it from a purely pragmatic view, this seems daft. Situations change, that's the nature of human society, why is it so bad that economic sectors shrink. 50 years ago it would have seemed stupid that Britain closed its coal mines. Now burning coal is seen as a bad thing. That's just one example. So, can someone come up with a more realistic economic model that doesn't go into deep depression every time there is little growth?
Wylva Won't'ya? - keeping us in the dark
Predictably, given current uncertainty and belt-tightening, Hitachi have "suspended" work on New Wylva nuclear power station, despite spending around 2 billion pounds on it already. The Japanese firm have been in talks with UK government officials, trying to get the price increased, for a couple of years now. At present, the UK government, uncertain of the future regarding the EU, is not committing public money any more than absolutely necessary. The question has to be now, is nuclear dead in the UK? Existing stations are all old. With several possible builders pulling out in the last couple of years, who will build them? Yes UK has some the most extensive wind farms in the world, but they alone can only supply a small proportion of maximum power needs. Coal power is on the way out, gas is expensive and potentially unreliable since most is imported now. The northern half of Britain simply doesn't get enough sun in winter for solar. So if not nuclear, it looks like power-cuts are coming; Third World Britain.
Deal Bombed - NG2
No Deal Brexit looks ever more likely. Ramsgate harbour, somewhat run-down since ferries stopped, is being dredged in anticipation of massive lorry queues requiring huge amounts of parking on nearby Manston aerodrome. Our 'steemed Ed was knocked over by afterburner backdraught there as a cadet. Those Vulcan bombers needed one hell of a runway so there should be enough room. PM May's plan looks set to be rejected by parliament, Eurojohnnies in Brussels aren't playing ball. So either there's a big crash or someone will flinch at the last moment.
Joy Of Spellcheckers EM
Local Indian Restaurant advert- "bring your won alcohol".
(There might still be a bottle of red from a raffle, trouble is I'm a super-taster so can't eat Indian. Ed.)
More Boats Means More Boats - Ed.
Dover MP calls for more border patrol boats to deter migrants crossing the channel. Er, think about that for a minute. What the current boat does is pick migrants up and take them to Dover. Now if these escapees from Wagger-wogger-land get picked up at half distance, it makes it easier for them, doesn't it? So, more of them come. What we need is a permanent cyclone whipping up the seas and making the crossing impossible, now how do we make that happen? Answers on an asylum application form to:- Minister for Illegal Entry, Dover.
E.M. says: Perhaps we could do a Dump and build a wall mid-channel.
Stupid Women - by Polly Mint
Abysmal disorder, orchestrated by Tory feminists to slag off Jeremy Corblimey yesterday was shameful to the Commons house of parliament. He clearly mouthed "stupid ...." which the Wimmin claim ended with "woman" meaning PM Theresa May. He claims it was "people." Really it doesn't matter which: it was muttered to himself not into a public address system. The reaction of these female yobs was way over the top. In the comment below this we pointed out that in the current Brexit disputes, ME comes first to many MPs. There was plenty of attention seeking in that. This display of noisy disorder may well also have been an attempt to distract from the deep splits within Tory party ranks. It didn't work, stupid Wimmin. Please MPs stop this bad-mouthing and loutish behaviour and get on with your real jobs: at present parliament a disgrace.
Me First - Brexit Opportunities
Deal or No deal? It makes no difference to most UK politicos because it's very obvious ME comes first to them. So much fuss, shouting, nonsense, bloated egos all vying to be heard most often. When will these people understand the UK comes before ME? If Infinity Junction ruled the world, we'd ban politicians from politics! That would make next week's vote a lot more straightforwards.
Putin Things In Perspective part 9 or so
The head of Russian military intlligence (the GRU) has died young- that was something he specialised in arranging for others, unfortunately his men belatedly got the wrong person in Salisbury and his real targets, the Skripals survived, just. The failed Salisbury plot caused problems for badman Putin, eventually even he realised the game was up when the real identity of the assassins was revealed as senior GRU officers. Putin needs to wise up, he may be a popular "strongman" inside Russia but elsewhere his infuence has done Russia immense harm internationally. 2 commercial airliners shot down with Russian missiles by Russian backed militias, invasion of Crimea, systematic cheating in sport, hacking and interference in foreign politics, (Ukraine of course but more notably the election for US president,) hacking of other critical services, our NHS for one, state backing of genocide in Syria and probably elsewhere, and at least two murders in UK alone. Russian based organised international crime has thrived under Putin's regime, as has money laundering. The world will be a better place without Putin and cronies; perhaps Russian top brass dying young might magically spread, (where's Harry Potter when you need him,) that would do the whole world a favour.
In, Out, in, out. UK ministers have been resigning at such a rapid rate because of the Brexit Deal it has become very hard to know who's in charge of what now. It's a bit like Europe itself; fractious, disorganised and largely serving of those who worm their way into power. No Faith in the system from here.
The Croydon, or Guildford, or M25 Cat Killer has at last been identified. Mutilated bodies of dozens of pet cats have been found in that general area. Rumours of a vicious human taking pleasure in diembowelling cats for some ritualistic purpose abounded for months. Was it the Ku Kats Klan, a coven of witches, blood drinking vampires? Actually it was foxes... what a let-down.
BoJo, that buffoon right-winger ex UK minister and ex mayor, actually made us laugh- he called women in Burkas "letterboxes." We thought it was an unusually funny "post" for BoJo, but of course all the pocaloony (politically correct lunatic) reactionaries howled in protest. Some people need to learn what jokes are.
APOLOGIES- at this point an old motherboard which runs Infinity Junction's website updates failed, hence rather a gap in comments. It took some time to hunt down a replacement for this 23 year old RiscOS board. However some comments were written down with old fashioned paper and pen and will appear above, although without dates the order may be wrong.
Reading this from a search engine? See blogjob for previous NuGgets comments. Already at this years NuGgets? See Blogjob, for last year's poking fun and pointing fingers NuGgets.